Tonight, Robin Williams is dead. A man responsible for so much joy found life so intolerable that he felt he had to end his.
Truly a comedic genius. So completely outrageous, and zany, he leaves me in a sad place. How someone who could see the world in such humorous terms, apparently couldn’t see his own life through the same lens. While “The Crazy Ones” was alright, it was still humorous. How someone in such a dark place could be as humorous as he was in that show eludes me.
To be sure, someone who commits suicide doesn’t find himself in that place just once for a short period of time. It’s a long term pain. It’s a place so dark and so awful, but even then it takes time to come to that place where you decide there is only one way out of it.
Williams accomplished more in his life than most. His body of work is incredible – from Mork & Mindy, to Mrs Doubtfire, to Jumanji, to Aladin…name it. His work made me laugh, and made me think. And now, I watch an interview with him – zany, funny, smiling – I can only think about the pain he must be hiding. It astounds me how someone who accomplished so much couldn’t see how much he meant to others – not just the faceless and nameless masses, but his own family. I live – and perhaps am alive today – for my kids and family. I’ve felt hopeless, and I’ve been in dark places, and I’ve questioned my own existence. It astounds me how someone as accomplished as Williams could feel the same. But worse. He took that one more step.
“No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world…” I used to think Robin Williams was both funny and deep. Today, I’ve come to find he was funny because he was deep – and he used his own pain for leverage. Consider: “Good people end up in Hell because they can’t forgive themselves.” Imagine his own personal hell that had him take his own life. “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone.” Imagine what his family is feeling tonight.
Godspeed Robin. I hope you’ve found your peace.
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